Life has a way of changing your plans. From the time Patrick and I got married and started talking about having kids, it was assumed I would stay home. Things seemed promising for this goal to be achieved.....until life changed the plans. Blame the economy, I am not sure, but I am a working mom.
I try to find the best places for her be and it is hard for me to come to grips with the fact the best place for her to be is home with me, but that is not the possible place for her to be.
All of this is coming up in me because we went and visited a new MDO program for her today. The one we have her in part of the week is great and comfortable. The other is great, but not comfortable. I wonder about her future. Is being in two different places OK? Will she have a multiple personalities because she is in multiple places?? (slightly joking here!) She will start new Wednesday and be in two loving, Christ-centered environmenst from now til the end of school. She will be with women who are upbeat and excited to have the jobs they have. They feel called to work with kids and have a passion for babies. I cannot ask for more.
At the end of it all, I have to recognize this one point: I am doing to best I am able with the place I am in now. I have to stop beating myself up over these little things. I have come to realize the more time and energy I spend on these points, the less time and energy I have to give to her. And she needs all the time and energy I have to give!
I certainly do not know what the next year or two or beyond holds for me. I am going to see this time as me being the hardest working Mommy I can be and praying Claire to the feet of Jesus to help her with growing up. I can only do what I can do, no more and no less. I will remember this point: I CAN DO all things through Christ who strengthens ME!! Phil 4:13
Claire's Mommy
Tales of my wonderful family and life.
28.2.11
19.2.11
Nap Time
Why is nap time so hard? Claire is now 10 months old and it seems nap time is getting harder and harder. I am thinking it is mostly because for the first 8 1/2 months of her life, we mainly relied on the swing and rocking her to sleep both for naps and bed time.
As a Mommy, I am torn because I want to hold her all the time and keep her a baby forever, but I know she is growing up. I am so excited to see her become a little girl who talks and walks with us, but does that mean she will not want me to cuddle her and rock her? That thought makes me sad...almost wanting to cry!
On the flip side, here I am posting on my blog while she is napping...guess it is not so bad after all :)
Claire's Mommy
As a Mommy, I am torn because I want to hold her all the time and keep her a baby forever, but I know she is growing up. I am so excited to see her become a little girl who talks and walks with us, but does that mean she will not want me to cuddle her and rock her? That thought makes me sad...almost wanting to cry!
On the flip side, here I am posting on my blog while she is napping...guess it is not so bad after all :)
Claire's Mommy
13.2.11
Driver's Seat
At church today, our Pastor asked an interesting question...who is in your driver's seat. It got me thinking....who is in control of my life. I give God credit (of course) but do I really let him "drive" my life. Growing up in a Christian home and attending Christian college solidified in me the deep need I have for my Savior. However, my day to day life might not be so solid in Him.
I look at my marriage and think how amazingly blessed I have been with such a wonderful husband. His desire is to provide and lead our family in the best way he can. He is funny (in his own way!), supportive, sacrificing.
I look at my daughter and I am so amazed. Not only is she the most beautiful child ever created (am I biased???!), but I am constantly in awe of God giving her to me. What have I ever done to deserve such a gift? Multiple times a day I do things that are so against what God desires for me.
So the question about who is in my driver's seat really hits me. If He will give me these AMAZING gifts when I am driving...what is He waiting to give me when I let him drive. I think I am going to put him in the driver's seat for a while and find out!
Who is in your driver's seat?
Claire's Mommy
I look at my marriage and think how amazingly blessed I have been with such a wonderful husband. His desire is to provide and lead our family in the best way he can. He is funny (in his own way!), supportive, sacrificing.
I look at my daughter and I am so amazed. Not only is she the most beautiful child ever created (am I biased???!), but I am constantly in awe of God giving her to me. What have I ever done to deserve such a gift? Multiple times a day I do things that are so against what God desires for me.
So the question about who is in my driver's seat really hits me. If He will give me these AMAZING gifts when I am driving...what is He waiting to give me when I let him drive. I think I am going to put him in the driver's seat for a while and find out!
Who is in your driver's seat?
Claire's Mommy
5.2.11
Salsa Music
In being cooped up for 5 days, I have made a discovery....my 9 month old LOVES SALSA music. We discovered this randomly Wednesday when we were trying to get her down for her morning nap. Rachel Ray was on and playing the DWTS music. Patrick (my husband) started dancing with her and she put her head on his shoulder and within minutes was asleep. We found a CD at home that is salsa music and have tried it the last two days....it puts her to sleep! So strange, yet so funny!
I will say this, he is the only one she will dance with ...I guess Mommy is to "rhythmically challenged" to sweep her off to dream land. Today, I tried dancing her to sleep and she laughed and giggled, but no sleep. I finally had to lay down on the couch and give her bottle to her and she drifted off. I have known she is a "Daddy's girl", but I have a new appreciation for his dancing skills.
So.... Salsa Anyone?
Claire's Mommy
I will say this, he is the only one she will dance with ...I guess Mommy is to "rhythmically challenged" to sweep her off to dream land. Today, I tried dancing her to sleep and she laughed and giggled, but no sleep. I finally had to lay down on the couch and give her bottle to her and she drifted off. I have known she is a "Daddy's girl", but I have a new appreciation for his dancing skills.
So.... Salsa Anyone?
Claire's Mommy
4.2.11
Day 4!
Well, here we are again with day four of our winter weather! We finally got out yesterday to visit some friends and mom and dad. Claire is not a fan of this weather, I think she prefers our indoor pajama days.
I am loving being home with her, but two things are heavy on my heart. One I will have to be gone from her next week and I am not sure how I will handle it. Two, she will be away from me and I know she will not handle it well. I think it is safe to say we are in to the separation anxiety stage of her development. She cries when I drop her off at church and even when I leave the room here at the house. It is not so bad because I know she stops once I am gone and she is playing or once I return to the room at home, but still my heart is heavy.
I always assumed I would be able to be a stay at home mom. That is what our moms had done as well as our grandmothers. It just seemed like a done deal. However, life has different plans for you sometimes. I love being a teacher and watching my students learn and discover and grow, but I wonder is my love of others kids growing hurting my own daughter?
I feel like I give her my all when I am with her, but what do I really have to give? I pour out so much of me at school that the drive home has to recharge me to be all I can be for her. Do any other working moms struggle with this? I am sure you do.
These are (a few) of the thoughts floating through my head on our fourth snow day!
Hope you are staying warm where ever you may be!
Claire's Mommy
I am loving being home with her, but two things are heavy on my heart. One I will have to be gone from her next week and I am not sure how I will handle it. Two, she will be away from me and I know she will not handle it well. I think it is safe to say we are in to the separation anxiety stage of her development. She cries when I drop her off at church and even when I leave the room here at the house. It is not so bad because I know she stops once I am gone and she is playing or once I return to the room at home, but still my heart is heavy.
I always assumed I would be able to be a stay at home mom. That is what our moms had done as well as our grandmothers. It just seemed like a done deal. However, life has different plans for you sometimes. I love being a teacher and watching my students learn and discover and grow, but I wonder is my love of others kids growing hurting my own daughter?
I feel like I give her my all when I am with her, but what do I really have to give? I pour out so much of me at school that the drive home has to recharge me to be all I can be for her. Do any other working moms struggle with this? I am sure you do.
These are (a few) of the thoughts floating through my head on our fourth snow day!
Hope you are staying warm where ever you may be!
Claire's Mommy
3.2.11
Something new
I have tried journaling before and never got past the first few days. I have wanted to find a place to express myself and I think this might be it.
So many others I know have a blog and I enjoy reading theirs, so here it goes!
I am a Christian, wife, mom and full time teacher. I love my life but some days I think I will lose my mind before the sun goes down. No matter what I am doing, I constantly feel like I am juggling too much and one wrong move away from dropping everything! Does anyone else feel that way? Maybe I am CRAZY!
Really, I think I am OK with being crazy....it keeps things interesting :)
Here we go!
So many others I know have a blog and I enjoy reading theirs, so here it goes!
I am a Christian, wife, mom and full time teacher. I love my life but some days I think I will lose my mind before the sun goes down. No matter what I am doing, I constantly feel like I am juggling too much and one wrong move away from dropping everything! Does anyone else feel that way? Maybe I am CRAZY!
Really, I think I am OK with being crazy....it keeps things interesting :)
Here we go!
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